Selfish????

I don't know if I am being selfish or not but I really thought someone would have offered to throw a baby shower for us. I know it's our second baby but I know people from church that have had showers for 3rd even 4th babies. I mean we don't need a lot bc I saved most of Noah's stuff but there are a few things that I can't find, loaned to someone and don't remember who, or just would like a more girly one of etc and it would be nice to get stocked up on some diapers.  And now that we have  8 weeks or less left I'm getting a little antsy. Should I go buy the stuff we still need, or wait and see if ppl start asking if we need anything?
I don't know, I guess that is selfish to expect a shower. I know people are busy and probably hasn't even crossed their minds.
I don't think anyone reads this anymore but by all means I don't want someone to feel pressure to do a shower now that they saw this. It has just been on my mind lately.

Wow it's been a long time!

It's been about an year since I wrote on here. A lot has happened in a year but I think most of you are on Facebook so not like this is the only means of communication. Quick recap from last post.
I didn't take the work from home job, I remained at West Field.  But this year I am taking an year leave of absence to stay home with baby girl. That's right in case you didn't know I'm about 24 weeks pregnant with a girl! We are so excited!!! Noah will be in half day pre-k at West Field this school year which doesn't seem possible. At first I had mixed feelings about staying home but with the cost of two in daycare it wouldn't make much sense for me to work. I am really looking forward to having this time with my kids. Honestly we don't know at this time if I will return to work or not. I might love staying home and not want to go back or go stir crazy staying home and can't wait to go back, we'll see!!! I am really going to miss the kids and my friends but I definitely won't miss the stress!!!!
It is definitely weird not preparing for a new school year, setting up my classroom,etc.  It is also weird getting Noah ready for school. Buying school supplies, new clothes, I mean he's still my little baby right???? There is no way he is old enough for school. I am really going to miss him, thank goodness it is only half day. This will give me time in the morning with the new baby, then in the afternoon hopefully she will sleep and I can have some time with Noah!!! It's going to be great!!

A lot on my mind and for a worry wort like me thats not good!

First all, I don't know who actually still reads this but thats kinda why I'm writing this here and not on Facebook..... I just need to get this off my chest....
First, Noah is going through the hitting stage and I am at my wits end trying to deal with this. I am just mortified when he does this in public with other kids.  He has pretty much stopped this at home bc he knows he will immediately get time out and loose toys. But  he pushes the limits when we are out in public. Lately he has been hitting kids in bible class. I feel like crying every time I go to pick him and they tell me he has hit someone. We  talk to him about using his words and not hitting and he tells us " I know, hitting is not nice" but he still does it. urgh!!!! I don't know how to enforce the rules when I'm not there or how to get him to realize that it isn't acceptable no matter where we are!
Also, Noah has decided he doesn't want to eat ever! Meal time has become such a battle and I am constantly worried he isn't getting the nutrition he needs.
I just always feel like I am being judge and feel like I am not a good mother when he hits in public or refuses to eat. The doc says he will eat when he is hungry but Noah has seriously gone all day with only eating a cracker. urgh!!!

Second, I am getting into selling Arbonne to try to make some extra money. So far it is going ok. I just don't like asking people to spend money or host party etc. I am not a pushy person at all so when they say no, I'm like "ok" but I'm never going to build up my business if I don't book parties. I have always had self esteem problems where I am constantly worried about what people are going to think of me and if people are going to like me etc. So when I am asking people to host a party or whatever. I have this voice in the back of my head thats saying" they don't want to host bc they don't like you or bc they think you are ugly, etc" I know its crazy, but I have always struggled with that.

Third, I recently received a job offer from the online school, meaning I could stay at home and still teach. I didn't actively seek this job. I have been curious about the job since it started up in OK but have always been to chicken to pursue it.  I just submitted my resume  about 6 months ago and didn't think anymore about it.  Then out of the blue without an interview or anything I got a phone call saying that they have heard great things about me and would love for me to "teach" a trial lesson  but honestly it was a formality that they really wanted me in the sped department. I told them I would have to think about it.  I mean I absolutely LOVE my students and most of them I have for 3+ years and form strong bonds with both them and their families. If it wasn't so close to school starting back up I don't think I would be struggling so much with this decision. Every time I think about the possibility of leaving WF, I just burst out in tears so maybe that is my answer. But I have to wonder if God allowed this opportunity. I have been praying for a way to spend more time with my family and to not be constantly stressed. SO I don't know. I have to let them know by Thursday so I will be doing a lot praying between now and then. And who knows I could teach the trial lesson and they totally don't like me and take back the offer. I am scared to leave WF. I mean I have proven myself at Edmond schools and obviously my reputation proves that so I don;t want to start all over..... IDK but sometimes I think I need a change IDK... I know I'm rambling on and on......

Like I said I have a lot of my mind and feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown!!
I need to just pray, pray, pray and leave it to God!!

rough last couple of months

These last few months has seemed like one rough patch after another. I know God won't give you more than you can handle, but sometimes you just want to say enough is enough.
First we were dealing with Noah's mystery illnesses. We did learn he has a weakened immune system but thankful no weird auto-immune disorder or cancer (which both were talked about, scary!!) . Then I got my severe pancreatitis and very much could've died. They told me I was lucky I came to the ER when I did. So I got to stay 4 nights in the hospital and miss 4 weeks of work. Only 5% of people ever get pancreatitis with unknown reason, seriously!!! I am still on a very restrictive diet, almost 2 months later. Then the latest has been pat's mom illness and recent death. This has been very hard on pat as you can imagine. So we are headed out tomorrow to start the traveling for the funeral and burial. Funeral will be Thursday in Tahlequah, then travel day down to Gilmer, TX (close to Tyler, TX) for burial on Saturday (actually in a smaller town Pritchett, TX)
Then head home Sunday and back to work for me Monday. Pat will still have some bereavement time left so he won't be going back until Friday, which I think will be good. He needs some time to process and reflect. Right now we are just trying to help dad with details that he hasn't really had time to slow down and process that his mom is gone.
I am just really ready for life to calm down a bit and get back to "normal"
Just say a little prayer for us if you don't mind!!!

Noah's dayschool program!!!

Noah had his very first Christmas program today!!! He was so cute!!! I especially love the little smirk when he raises his sticks!!

Noah Christmas Program 2011 (that is linked to the video)

pancreatitis

I don;t know what it is about this time of the year but I seem to always get sick. Last year, I had my gallbladder removed this year I have acute pancreatitis. I went to the ER about 1am Wednesday morning and wasn't released until around 2 pm Saturday. I mostly slept all day Sunday and I got up I thought I was going to try to go to work Monday. Pat told me not under any circumstances was I allowed to go to work and actually hid my keys. Well, I ended up back at the doctor this afternoon in pain and diarrhea (sorry TMI). My primary care doc says they shouldn't have discharged me from the hospital and almost re-admitted me but sent me home with some pain meds and continue with the nasuea meds so I could maybe actually keep is down but with strict criteria to return to ER. So I am not allowed to return to work until at least NEXT TUESDAY!! I about fell off the table when she said that. I said really. She said "Do you want to go back to the hospital?" I guess I have been pretty sick and am really in no condition to work but I have so much to do!!!

***** update*****
12/15/11
I am still not able to return to work. I am doing much better but still having trouble keeping food in me!!! I have lost about 15 pounds!!! Pancreatitis is serious stuff and not fun!

Noah is 2!!!

I can't believe my baby boy is 2!! It doesn't seem possible. It seems like I just yesterday we were welcoming him into the world !!! Where did the time go??? http://obryannews.blogspot.com/2009/08/noah-patrick-obryan-is-here.html
We had his party at Unpluggits and he had a blast!!! He got a power wheel motorcycle as his big present and he loves it!!! Just not very good at steering yet.

Our first hospital stay (besides being born)

Noah had his first hospital stay (besides being born) this past week. He has been a very sick little boy :(. He started out with what was believed to be a virus but doc was concerned because he had a very high fever!! He did some blood work. White count was slightly elevated so he was pretty sure it was just a virus but could be starting an infection so wanted us to keep him informed if his fever didn't go down (that was Friday 6/24/11).He seemed to get a little better but as soon as Tylenol or motrin wore off, his fever would spike. Sunday His fever spiked to 104.5 and he was having body aches and chills and couldn't get comfortable at all. So I call the dr. on call line and they said to take him to after hours. The PA said his throat was very swollen, red, and had puss spots. So we did a strep test, which came back positive. Ok good, we have an answer and some meds so he should get better right??? WEll not so much!!! Again he started to improve some. His pediatrician, Crittenden, called to check on him Monday morning. I told him his fever was still little high 102 but would go down with meds. He told me if he still had fever on Wednesday to let him know. Wednesday he called and checked on him. He was running low grade 99.5 -100. He said he would call Thursday morning and check on him b/c he shouldn't be running a fever with the antibiotic if the strep was all he had. WEll Wednesday night/early Thursday another spike of high fever 102-103. I called dr direct line to leave a voicemail so he could get it first thing that morning. He called us back as soon a he got the message and told us to come back to the office for examination and more blood work b/c he was concerned strep wasn't the only thing going on. So they took blood and urine for more test. Doctor didn't like the look of the test and was concerned that he was missing something. He was going to consult another dr and call us back but he thought he needed to go to the hospital. After consulting another doctor, They decided he needed to be admitted to childrens hospital for observation and more test. So Noah was admitted to childrens Thursday night 6/30/11. He was exhausted almost lethargic. They would come in several times that night to do vitals and get blood for test. Noah keep trying to take out his IV so they had to put a brace around it. His blood kept clotting so they weren't getting good lab results so therefore kept having to get more blood. He was very dehydrated b/c his throat was so swollen he couldn't eat or drink. Preliminary labs were showing most likely he had mono and strep. So the antibiotic treated the strep but made the mono worse. His fever finally broke Friday morning, so they said if it stayed down unmedicated then we could go home Friday evening (7/1/11). Fever stayed down so we were able to go home!!!!! Ever since he has been doing pretty good, able to eat a little but still very weak and fatigued. He has been sleeping 11-13 hours a night and taking 4-5hr naps during the day. He can't be around other people right now. We should get all lab results back Wednesday just to confirm that mono and strep is all we are dealing with. It has been quite the little ordeal and has been so hard to see him so sick!!!! He is a tough little boy and hopefully he won't remember much of this!

Summer!!!!

I haven't blogged in such a long time!! I decided I would blog about summer so far!!
So far this summer we have been to the zoo, unpluggits, and swimming, swimming, swimming!!!! But This last two weeks Noah got a nasty virus and strep throat, yuck. WE had tickets to the circus and Noah was so excited to go but he was just way to sick. His fever got up to 104.5!!! Noah really wanted to see the tiger. I told him when he felt better we would go see the tiger at the zoo, he said "well ok". We gave our tickets to his uncle Mikey, I'm glad he was able to enjoy them. His fever finally down today and he is getting back to his old self!!!

If anyone is still out there, I'm here

I haven't blogged in forever!! I just haven't had anything to say really... (still don't)
Well lets see, Oklahoma had two snow storms in the last two weeks, which gave me a lot of time at home with Noah. I loved staying home with him. He is at such a fun age. He loves to play chase with the dog, the cat, daddy, me, basically anyone who will play with him. He also loves to wrestle. He loves cars and trucks!!
During this time at home, we have played a lot of chase, wrestling, and playing with cars and trucks and watching movies. We did play in the snow a little but Noah wasn't a big fan of being cold.



Today we got out and went to unpluggits. Noah had a blast!!!

Noah is 1!!!

new shoes

sliding

Noah and daddy

swinging

digging in!!!!

his BFF Brayden

his mickey cake

ball popper

mickey

I can't believe my baby is one!!! Thursday (8/12) we had a big family party for Noah!! He was so excited. He still keeps going around to all his new toys and plays with them for a couple of minutes and then switches to another new one. Some of his favs were his ball popper, a stuffed mickey mouse, some blocks, and his little toddler slide and swing set!!!

Noah 1st hair cut!!

Before......
such a big boy

not to sure about the razor!!

after.... he looks like such a big boy

We got a prize for being so good!!!

Today we got Noah's hair cut!! I can't believe he is old enough for a hair cut. My little boy is growing up way to fast *tear*

zoo trip

We went to the zoo today with some good friends of ours whose son is 8 days older than Noah and goes to the same babysitter!! They are BFF's!!! Apparently everybody else decided to go to the zoo today too. It was so crowded!!!

watching the animals with daddy!!

inside the petting area !!!

sitting on the turtle (but daddy didn't get the turtle in the pic)

watching the goats (he eventally got a goats tail!!)

just hanging out!!!

Noah and Brayden!!!

worn out after a long day!!!!